They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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