I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
