the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize
