Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
