i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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