dude i'm inner monologue high
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
