we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Randomize
