Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
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