Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize