I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Bring me that man meat
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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