everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
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