Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
