margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
