the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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