so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
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And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
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Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
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