Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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