I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Man, jail baloney is awful.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
