hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
