i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
