a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
