i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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