my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize