Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
