we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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