I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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