Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
