She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
