worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
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