Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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