Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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