I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Your dad touched me again.
operation have a gay friend backfired
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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