Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
i believe in u and ur pee
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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