Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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