I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize
