stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
