you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
