it hurts more in the daytime
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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