found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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