It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
