My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
