Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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