I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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