he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Brb crying the tears of my youth
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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