3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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