I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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