sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize