I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
