Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
