And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
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