I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
