her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
