I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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