Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
