Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
