Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize