I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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