I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize