Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
