I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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