it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
