I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
